Grim humour seems to be the order of the day in the market. The following, probably apocryphal, tale is doing the rounds about the hard-nosed chief executive of one bulge-bracket investment bank in London. He purportedly told a recent meeting of senior executives: "The bottom 25% of you will be gone by the end of November. The next 25% will be gone by the end of March. The next 25% will be staying, but won't be paid, and for the remaining 25% – we'll sell the furniture to pay you."

Highly motivational.