Somebody at the Tunbridge Wells HQ of NPI, the ailing life assurer, has a seriously sad sense of humour.

Like the Equitable, NPI has slashed payments to policy holders and has proved a big disappointment to those saving for their retirement. Some NPI bonus payments have tumbled to zero in each of the past two years. Phone up and the policyholder with a nervous query about his diminishing pension pot may find himself put on hold, trying not to listen to irritating muzak in the background. But somehow it insinuates itself to the ear. Yes, it's that Gershwin classic They Can't Take That Away From Me. Oh yes they can.