When is a universal bank not a universal bank? When it’s actually called Universal Bank. This is a small community bank in California, which is about as far away as it is possible to imagine from the sort of global financial titan that its name suggests.

It has six branches (yes, six) and, according to the bank's website, most (but not all of them) have ATMs (no, really). With assets of less than $500m, Universal Bank is less than one five thousandth the size of JP Morgan Chase. It doesn't compete with the likes of Citigroup or Bank of America; rather it is in competition with savers' mattresses. Still, it has been loyally serving the local community for more than 55 years under the proud but meaningless motto: "progress with direction".